Pretending People Care
by waterpoloplayer
Summary: When Percy, Grover, and Nico all move to Florida to live with each other, Percy decides to make video blogs. But the questions get kind of... Interesting. 'Would rather have your body and Katy Perry's head or your head and Katy Perry's body'


**I know, it's been forever! This is just a small oneshot, but if you want me to continue, just tell me! This is based on the 'Pretending People Care' vlogs by Luke Conrad. Check them out!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Percy looked in the mirror one last time, just to make sure he looked ok. He smiled at his reflection. He had started making video blogs and sent them to Olympus, Camp Half-Blood, Annabeth (who was studying at Yale), and his mom just so they knew he was ok and not dead. After the war, him, Grover, and Nico all moved in together in a small house in Florida to make sure nothing came from the Bermuda Triangle.

But since it was a long ways away from everybody, they had to find a cheap way to keep in touch. That is how 'Pretending People Care' came up. It was a great way to tell them he was ok and to answer questions about the war and his old life if anybody had questions.

And it was a lot of fun.

Percy looked at the time. 12:30. If he started now, he could get it to everybody by about 2. He double checked his camera on the computer and sat on his spinning chair. He pressed record and spun around a few times.

"Percy Jackson here with an update," he said once he stopped spinning, a smile on his face.

"I sent a letter out the other day asking for questions for you to ask, pretending you cared. The first one is from…" He looked at the name and rolled his eyes. "Athena. She asked 'Will you please go fly to the middle of nowhere?'"

He stared blankly at the camera, and then reread it. "What?" he said giving a scared chuckle and shook his head, smiling nervously. "No. Next question!"

He looked at the piece of paper in his hand. "The next one is from… Holy Poseidon, how do you say your name?" He cocked his head to the side and leaned in closer. "Me-kale…? Mick-all?"

"It's Mikayla, you idiot!" Nico yelled from the other room.

"Thank you," Percy called back, rolling his eyes. "Mikayla, daughter of Aphrodite says: 'Can we see you in just your underwear?' Winky face." He gave an over exaggerated wink. "Lucky for you, I don't need to strip right here. I already have footage."

He clicked a few things on his computer and a video popped up.

"_Ready, Perce?" Nico called from behind the camera, sniggering. It was just pointing to their door. Grover sat in the trunk of his truck, rolling his eyes._

"_Am I the only mature one here?" he asked, but he couldn't help but smile._

_The door flung open to reveal Percy in fishnets, high heels, and a robe. He slowly took off the robe and threw it in Grover's direction. Underneath it was a pink lingerie set for girls. He danced around for a little before tripping. _

_Nico laughed and accidentally dropped the camera, making the video end._

The video went back to real life Percy, who had his lips pressed together, nodding. "Ladies and gentlemen, your hero of Olympus." He went bright red.

"The nest question is from RoseBud, who I am guessing is a daughter of Demeter. It says 'Will you marry me?' Less than three. Aw, that's so sweet!" He gave a bug, cheesy grin and made a heart with his hands.

He dropped his hands and his face became serious. "But I'm more worried about the question that came before it. It's from somebody named 'FreeCandy' and I have not seen this 60-year-old man anywhere. He looks like a rapist and his question is 'a/s/l' question mark. Only six words can be said for this. 'Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife.'"

Percy cringed slightly and gave a small shudder. "On that note, I got two… _interesting_ questions. The first from Thing 1 that said 'Would you rather have your hair dyed like Niki Manji or shaved to look like her?' and the second from Thing 2 that says 'Would rather have your body and Katy Perry's head or your head and Katy Perry's body?'"

He leaned towards the camera, fear and worry in his eyes. "The demigods of this age are really, really strange," he said slowly.

"Hey!" Grover yelled, stumbling in his room, acting almost as if he were drunk. "What… what are you doing? Are you making another _vlog_?" He spat the word out.

Percy looked hurt. He wasn't actually. This was just all part of the plan. "Well… Ya. The gods and such like it and…"

Graver cut him off. "This is why you're still single."

Percy looked at the camera in confusion then back to Grover. "Well actually, I'm dating Annabeth and-"

"She's cheating on you! With _me_! Now… Get out of my room!"

Grover stumbled away and Percy blinked and threw a small spaz attack, looking at the camera like he was going to cry. "Gah! I _hate_ Grover Underwood! And Nico just hates me and…"

He sighed. "I should… Just write a song. 'Percy's got no friends, Percy's got no friends, Percy has no friends, It's raining…"

He stared at the window for a little then looked back at the camera. "Anyways…" He let out a nervous chuckle. "The next question is from 'A Random Son of Apollo'. No seriously, that's his name. He says 'This is not a question but a request. Sing us your favorite song please.'"

Percy slowly shook his head. "No. Last time I sang, I almost got arrested for animal torture. Apparently, I sound like a bag of small dogs being beaten by a metal baseball bat." He shrugged. "Who knew?"

He looked at the paper one last time and smiled. "Our last question is from Apollo and Hermes. 'Can we get some rollerblading maneuvers going on here?"

Percy smirking and showed his already roller blade clad feet. "Heck yes we can," he promise and awkwardly walked out of the room.

The next thing you saw was Percy going down his driveway on his roller blades, jumping and spinning and dancing, until he crashed into a car. As the car alarm went off, he ran away.

"And that concludes 'Pretending People Care!'" Percy yelled, running into the house.

**Ya… That sucked and was rather confusing. Sorry ._. So.. Continue or not? I could do some with special guests like Annabeth maybe? Or Thalia? No? Ok…**


End file.
